Vent art...

Base used www.deviantart.com/art/giving-…

Because I fucking wanted to, deal with it.

I've been feeling so lonely ever since I came to college. I mean yeah, I've made friends here, but it just feels a bit...empty...

I miss my school friends. I miss being able to talk to them. I miss laughing with them at lunchtime and talking about homework.

At college, I just don't fit in. Not even in the slightest. Most of the time the girls talk about boys and what would happen if they got together. It just bores me. And I'm scared that if I say something...something that just comes out, they'll begin to hate me...wherever I've gone, people have hated me. No matter where, the people will hate. Even DA.

College was meant to be a new start for me. A place where no one knows me and where I could just start again. A clean slate. But people are already spreading things about me. In the first week...*sighs*

And all the girls in my block go off to talk to the boys. Every night, they go off and leave me. I am not yet comfortable with being around a lot of boys after spending 6 years in an all girls school. Maybe i'm just being selfish, but it would be nice to have some company to talk to without feeling paranoid about doing something that they'll say about me behind my back...

Everyone says that Ashley is the motherbird of the block...well I'm the invisible motherbird! I clean up the kitchen after they've left for the boys block! I wash the dishes even when they've said that they'd do it! I report all the things wrong with the place we live in! And do I complain? NO!

BECUASE I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND! I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I AM PART OF THIS FAMILY WE ARE CREATING! I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT ANYMORE! I HAVE BEEN LEFT OUT MY ENTIRE LIFE! I WANT IT TO END! I WANT TO BE LOVED, TO BE APPRECIATED!

And if that doesn't happen...they'll I'll just give up...I'll give up trying to be a part of something bigger than myself...i'll just stay in my room all the time and only go out for lessons and to eat all by myself in the cafeteria...

I'm sorry...but I didn't know of another way to tell you guys...